Rock Credentials Validated

Never Mind The Pollacks by Neal Pollack

A fictional account of a the world's greatest unknown fictional rock critic. Funny, lewd, zany, rockin' and most definitely rolling something at any given point in time. Usually followed by smokin'.

Alright, enough with me trying to be witty in describing this book. I'll just paste the disclaimer from the copyright section of the book. It does an excellent job of giving an idea of what this book is like to read.

This is a work of fiction. References to real people, including the author's friends whose lives have been ruined by major label record deals, as well as events, establishments, organizations, or locales, are intended only to let you know that corporate rock still sucks. They are all used fictitiously or satirically, but especially the stuff about Kurt Cobain. All other characters and all incidents and dialogue are drawn entirely from the author's fertile imagination and are not to be construed as real, even if they, against your will, stir up unbearable waves of sexual desire.

After I finished the book, I went back and pored over the copyright page and all the credit information for little gems like that. It's something that I'm pretty sure a lot of people glossed over. It's like in great comedies (like my personal favorite, Top Secret) they'll hide funny stuff in the credits for people who look for that sort of thing. Well, yay.

Never Mind the Pollacks is an over-the-top helping of rock culture, served up to you by a journalist searching for the true story behind Neal Pollack, infamous rock critic. We find out a million unbelievable things about Pollack, such as being run over and befriended by Elvis. And giving many now-famous and well-known artists their start. Like getting the Velvet Underground their first gig. And letting Iggy Pop find is identity. And being in the Ramones for a short time. And becoming a father figure of sorts to Kurt Cobain.

It's a book that's purely for entertainment, by means of a satirical kick in the teeth. Laced with vulgarity and outlandishness for comedic effect.

This booksketch illustration has a little conceptual twist up at the top. Hope you like it! Ahhhhh, rock.